


End of the Universe

by Yatterqueen



Series: #wedgiewednesday [35]
Category: Unlisted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-12
Updated: 2016-04-12
Packaged: 2018-06-01 22:41:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6539449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yatterqueen/pseuds/Yatterqueen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>There'll be <i>a lot </i>more of the good stuff over the next two installments (<i>24</i>, to be exact). I don't think I can lampshade how utterly ridiculous this is enough, but I wrote myself into this corner, so I have to deal with it. Having the villains regard as a hobby and a bonding excerise does some to minimize that, I suppose, and it hasn't exactly stopped them from doing other, more legitimate things (I just don't write about those things given, well, what this account is for).</p><p>Whether that succeeded or not, I have no say in, as it's definitely up to interpretation. Anyway, leave a comment!</p>
    </blockquote>





	1. (Evil) Girls Just Wanna Have (Evil) Fun

**Author's Note:**

> There'll be _a lot_ more of the good stuff over the next two installments ( _24_ , to be exact). I don't think I can lampshade how utterly ridiculous this is enough, but I wrote myself into this corner, so I have to deal with it. Having the villains regard as a hobby and a bonding excerise does some to minimize that, I suppose, and it hasn't exactly stopped them from doing other, more legitimate things (I just don't write about those things given, well, what this account is for).
> 
> Whether that succeeded or not, I have no say in, as it's definitely up to interpretation. Anyway, leave a comment!

Diana Prince, the legendary superheroine Wonder Woman, feels love for many, _many_ things on the planet Earth, yet few of her affections rival the love she has for her mother Hippolyta. That's why, with her sister Donna Troy at her side, she flies into a rage when the magician Circe sent a message of magic.

As Donna recalls, from her own living room, the duo was immersed in a illusion, placing them in a long, empty field that extended forever. Though they were unable to interact with much else but the ground to stand, passing through anything they touched, they could see clearly.

The Queen of the Amazons, Hippolyta, clad in her standard yet regal white chiton, was mobbed by the Blue Statue Robots Donna had faced in the past, and given a number of exceedingly fantastic wedgies. No pair of underwear, however magical, however strong, however tear resistant, should stretch in the ways Hippolyta's did, the queen regretting the decision to add panties to the Amazon way of life. 

Before long, the witch goddess Circe walked besides the two prides of Theymscira, Diana and Donna, and smiled like nothing was wrong. In rage, Diana nearly knocked Donna's head off trying to punch Circe before recognizing the woman was only an illusion, like everything else.

"Be calm, Diana," Circe had taunted. "Nothing you see here is real. Or, rather, it's only a memory of what has already happened. I certainly _did_ do this to Hippolyta in revenge for what _you_ did to me, but it's no longer happening. Your mother is, well, _otherwise_ incapacitated. Truly, whatever magic these robots are harnessing is a powerful thing. Watch."

Diana turned her head quickly to the side, to see her mother held up on a cross of sorts. Weird religious reference aside, what truly struck Diana was how Hippolyta was held up. 

It seemed to be some kind of super wedgie: some robots had transformed their bodies into two, wide intersecting metal rods, and Hippolyta's white underwear was pulled over the right angle formed by the intersection of the rods. The underwear was then stretched even further to wrap around the Amazon Queen's outstretched left wrist, subsequently pulled across her body, and then bound her outstretched right arm, before _yet again_ being pulled beyond reasonable limits to bind her feet together.

The intense look of discomfort on Hippolyta's grimacing face as she struggled to free herself from this _nightmarish_ wedgie spoke enough for Diana.

"Where are you?" she had asked, voice solemn. There was an inherent ridiculousness to this spectacle she could not deny -- Circe had stooped to truly unthought of lows -- but in attacking her mother, a line had still been crossed.

"I'm wherever you think I am," Circe had said. "Oh, and Donna? Joker says hello."

Back in the present, Donna has been trying to calm Diana enough to get a plan out of her, having known from experience that simply charging these things without one leads to capture.

"Let me call around," she says, retrieving her cellphone. "We'll need all the help we can get if _Circe_ is working with Joker." 

"Do what you must," Diana reponds, "But _hurry_."

A smart plan, but unfortunately for the two, it wasn't _just_ Circe and Joker. It was Circe and Joker _and_ Cairo De Frey _and_ Monica Rappaccini _and_ Madame Masque _and_ Titania _and_ Asp. Those seven women have all been defeated by the superior numbers of the heroes in the past. Not wanting a repeat, they have bid their time over one month and, even as the Wonder Women speak,  they had already put into motion their own plan.

It's simple: divide and conquer.

<<>>

"You're so good at designing!"

Maxine Hunkel, the heroine known as Cyclone, and one of her teammates from the JSA, Jesse Chambers, are backstage at a Parisian fashion show to congratulate famed model-turned-designer Emily Briggs on her successful fashion show. Though her vampirism has forced Emily out of full time modeling, she has found new life in designing.

In fact, all three women are wearing something of her design. Maxine wasn't too versed in fashion, yet because of Emily's guidance, her oversized brown hoodie doesn't clash at all with the black leggings she wears underneath nor the red glasses on her face, the latter piece matching her hair. She had protested that she doesn't _need_ glasses, but Emily reminded her that fashion is not about what you _need_. Jesse didn't need much help, wearing a pair of yellow jeans and an asymmetrical blue top of her own accord, though Emily completed the look with a brilliant gold necklace. As for herself, Emily wore a fashionable red one-piece jumpsuit, accessorizing with beautiful gold bangles.

"Thank you, Maxine," Emily smiles, seated and eating raw pig meat. Quickly, she turns serious. "Do you hear that?"

Maxine shakes her head, confused. What was she supposed to hear? Is it a result of Emily's heightened senses? She looks to Jesse for help, but the blonde is just as confused as she is. 

"Hear what?" Jesse asks. "Me and Maxi didn't hear anything."

"At the door," Emily says, baring her fangs. "We have _visitors_."

As if on cue, the door is knocked down and henchpeople in masks come rushing in. At their back stands their leader, the ever impeccable woman of many names, Whitney Frost, Giuletta Nefaria, but better known to many as Madame Masque, a woman wearing a gold plated face mask that her black hair frames and a solid black jumpsuit underneath a white, full coverage leotard.

The villain grins wickedly under her mask. "I'm afraid we didn't come for autographs."

<<>>

"You're gonna' give up, right? Wouldn't want a repeat of the fire hydrant incident."

"Since when? Don't tell me that spanking I gave you last time messed with your head, Hardy."

Felicia Hardy, the Black Cat, and Selina Kyle, Catwoman, have a _very_ storied history, though it only goes a few months back. Having developed a rather friendly rivalry ( for one predicated on one-upping and subsequently humiliating the other), the two often find themselves at odds for the same prize.

Tonight's is a billion dollar statue held in an old museum. They've already worked together to take down the guards and so they believe they are alone. Thus, the many footsteps they hear take them both by surprise.

"Did you invite a friend?" Felicia asks, turning her head to face whatever's coming.

"Mine sneaks around in the dark," Selina responds. "Yours?"

"Wallcrawler. So, it's probably a foe. You ready?"

A lovely French accented voice interrupts Selina before she can respond. " _Non, mes femmes_ , you're not."

The leader of Scorpio, Cairo De Frey, a former model, stands confidently dressed in a sleeveless yellow blouse tucked into a purple pencil skirt over a pair of black pantyhose, her black heels giving her some height on the women she opposes, and her army of Numbers, women covered head to toe in red armor numbered from 2-20, reveal themselves to be the owners of the footsteps.   

<<>>

Emma Frost doesn't know when or why she became the third woman in Kitty and Illyana's ridiculous fights, but she _has._ Considering there is little other choice, she intends to _win_ them like every other game she plays. 

To the achievement of that goal, she holds both women's panties high in the air, turning into diamond to prevent them from actually harming her enough to get down. 

It seems Kitty doesn't want to phase out of her yellow boyshorts and leave it in Frost's hands, but the alternative is bouncing around and kicking midair for the next twenty minutes until they rip. At least, Emma has placed a mental suggestion that everyone avoid the courtyard for that duration of time.

Still, she decides to bite the bullet and phases free, the sudden movement startling Emma somewhat. Kitty reaches up with one hand to phase her own panties out of Emma's hands and near the front of Emma's white bodycon skirt and uses her powers to phase out the blonde's blue panties from them.

" _Let Illyana go_ , Frost," Kitty says, using her powers to put her underwear back on under her red running shorts.

Emma glares at her and lifts Illyana's brown panties up higher. "Give me my underwear back, first." 

"Do it, Kitty!" Illyana says, voice somewhat squeaky.

"Fine, fine, okay?" Kitty holds the panties out. "Here." 

Emma puts Illyana down and shoves her towards the nuisance that is Kitty Pryde. Clearly bothered, she snatches her panties back. "Turn around, _please_."

The two do as they're asked, Illyana stuffing her underwear back into her black jeans, while Emma, somewhat embarrassed, puts her panties back on. Before she's finishes, Illyana and Kitty get ready for round two, but they're hit with tranq darts in the back before they can make good.

Emma turns around and gets two in her left arm. She looks up to see the Scientist Supreme of AIM, though she quickly falls unconscious.

Monica Rappaccini, dressed in rather casual clothes, a sleeveless white top and a green long skirt with green slippers, and, as always, armed with her robots used invisibility to disguise themselves until just the right moment to strike; though Monica did find Emma bouncing the two mutants around quite funny. 

"That was interesting," the Scientist Supreme of AIM says, motioning for her robots to pick up all three of these women. While she's only come for Emma, Kitty and Illyana will snitch no doubt. Besides, there's plenty enough robots to go around.

<<>>

If you asked her, Circe couldn't tell you why she doesn't stop time more often. Zatanna Zatara, dressed in a black bustier over a fishnet top, black leather pants and boots, _was_ drinking with Dinah Lance, the Black Canary (dressed in black shorts over fishnets, a midriff exposing top under a jeans jacket) until the witch goddess froze them, and everyone else in the bar. Having taken some time to gloat, Circe has found mortals are so _peaceful_ when they're frozen.

"I love when it's so easy," she says to Zatanna, though she knows the woman can't hear her. Then, to Dinah, as if she's still holding a conversation. "But, truthfully, I might get bored if it were always so. Anyway, time to go."

A snap of her fingers and all three are gone, while time restarts in the quiet bar. A few patrons remember Zatanna was there, but figure it was another one of her magic tricks.

<<>>

Let it never be said that Elektra Natchios does not enjoy her career; it is her life now. One she does not appreciate being stolen from her.

"Who are you?" she asks, clad in her trademark red leotard, though she's added an extra strap for support, and pointing a single sai at the woman in front of her. A _chalk faced, scarred_ , yet _impeccably_ dressed woman in a black business skirt, green button-up blouse with the sleeves rolled up. The description sounds familiar; Natasha told her about this woman. Calls herself...

"I'm the Joker!" the woman cackles. "Better than old Mister J anyway, and _twice_ as pretty."

Elektra does not care about her embellishments. "Where is my target?"

"I took care of it for you and, wait just a second," some henchpeople carry out the unconscious bodies of Angela Del Toro, White Tiger, and Maria Vasquez, the Tarantula as Joker talks, "I even handled some interlopers."

Elektra narrows her eyes. She remembers both these women. Why they're working together, she cannot say, but it's curious. "Who do you work for?"

"Myself! Now, who do I work _with,_ that's the real question. Do you have any guesses?"

"None," the assassin says, "Stop playing with me."

Joker launches into a series of theatrics, emphasizing every word she says next, " _But that's what I do, Elektra._ " 

"Is that so?" Elektra flings one of her sais at the woman's head, narrowly missing on purpose, but catching a henchman. "I will only need one to hurt you."

"See, now while I'm _very_ afraid of you, I am, my coworker, Monica Rappaccini would _hate_ it if I let you go. So, I can't!"

The henchfolks start to pour in, many of which don't look human. Elektra recognizes she is outnumbered, but she is not yet outfought.

As far as she is concerned, Rappaccini will simply have to be disappointed.

<<>>

Jennifer Walters, dressed relaxed in a black pencil skirt and a white button up blouse, is not only an accomplished lawyer but the life of any party, even if said party should only encompasses two other women and takes place at a small Honduran restaurant.

Her company for this afternoon while her nieces are out shopping, her nephew's at school, and a date with Wyatt Wingfoot awaits her later this evening, is Betty Ross, author dressed in brown jeans and a red wool sweater. Perhaps less impressively given her skill at writing, Ross is also the Red She-Hulk. The other woman Jen is eating with is Thundra, a large, incredibly muscular woman dressed in a pair of red jeans and a tight (if only because of her size) t-shirt that reads: "Best Mom."

Just as Jen's recounting the story of how she stopped the Champion of the Universe using her intelligence, the restaurant the three women are in starts to empty, people flocking out in fear. Jen stops talking to look around and pinpoint the disturbance. 

She narrows her eyes when she sees, " _Titania_."

_"Greenie,_ " Titania says, adjusting the strap of her purple halter top in anticipation for a fight. She has forgone her standard costume for something more casual, including the aforementioned halter top and purple shorts, in addition to a domino mask (she doesn't need.)

The two women with more animosity than there should have ever existed between any pair, Titania, Mary MacPherran, and her rival, Jennifer Walters, She-Hulk, stare each other down, ready to tear each other to pieces.

Titania's grand entrance, however, was only a distraction. Cleo Nefertiti, known to some as Asp, was able to sneak up behind Betty and Thundra, stabbing a SPIN tech laced sedative into their necks, knocking them out near instantly.

Jen turns her head when she hears the slumping of her friends behind her. As she goes after Asp, though, Titania grabs her arms and decks her one good time. It isn't enough to knock her out, but it is enough for Asp to inject her with the SPIN and put her to sleep as well.

"Let's get 'em out of here 'fore the rest of the Avengers come," Titania says, hoisting all three women up onto her shoulders.

Cleo adjusts her white and green flower print sudress, having been spooked some by Jen's massive hands, and sets the teleporter they received from Rappaccini to their base. Forcing some calmness, she responds, "With pleasure."

<<>>

Having dealt with and transported Black Cat and Catwoman to their base, Cairo De Frey has turned her organizations attention to a confrontation with SHIELD.

Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, Bobbi Morse, Mockingbird, and Daisy Johnson, Quake, each have had a prior confrontation with Madame Masque, Cairo's ally (though she does not share the woman's brutality). In response, Masque has marked them for their plan.

As Cairo, Cleo, and Monica have said among each other, however, the "Step Three" as Masque calls it, will not actually happen. As ridiculously wasteful as this entire endeavor is, any ultimate goal of utterly humiliating these superheroines run against their own conscious.

To be quite honest, and Cairo is sure Masque and the others feel the same way, the seven of them have seen this as a bonding experience more than a means of humiliation; it's genuinely fun to not want to take over the world for a moment and indulge in a little bit of frivolity. Sometimes, as a human being, you need to do dumb shit; this is their "dumb shit." Getting defeated in the end is... well, it isn't apart of what they consider fun, but watching the heroes struggle as robots pull their underwear? Sue them, it's funny. 

It hasn't slowed down their own evil plans; Scorpio is still a threat to global security, Asp and Titania have continued to rob banks, Rappaccini is still committing acts of terrorism, etc., it's simply become a hobby and a way to spend time.  

In time, she figures, that will come to an end. Such is life, she supposes, but in the interim, she has her Numbers surround the three SHIELD agents.

"Hello," Cairo greets, floating above the three on a metal platform, "I've come to invite you to a, well, special party."

Natasha holds up her Widow Bite gauntlets. "Consider your invitation rejected."

<<>>

Miriam Delgado, hastily dressed in a pair of blue jeans and a band t-shirt, will one day fight her friend Donna over the nonsense she put her through in inviting Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy to watch her child (Miri doesn't know that Harley intercepted the _actual_ babysitter Donna had sent).

Now, having driven twenty minutes out of her way to drop her son off at a friend who _thankfully_ did not have any plans this evening, she has to figure out a way to get Ivy and Quinn out of her car and, quite honestly, out of her life. As the former is dressed in a little black dress and the latter is wearing a short sleeved tuxedo t-shirt and jeans shorts Miri believes what was supposed to be her quiet evening alone has been hijacked by a couple on a date).

"Will you two stop kissing so much!"

Harley breaks from sucking Ivy's face off to tease Miri, responding with, "Why? Ya' jealous 'cause you're not gettin' none? We're definitely open to new people, Miri~"

"That's not -- " Miri blushes a little bit, but quickly refocuses. "I am trying to drive and it's very difficult to do so when you're vacuum cleaning each other's lips!"

"Ignore us and focus!" Ivy quickly demands, pointing at a woman standing in the road.

Miri doesn't even have the opportunity to swerve as her car disappears in a cloud of purple smoke.

The woman, Circe the witch goddess, smiles to herself. "To think, I thought I needed a _team_ to do this. Well, I can't say it hasn't been _fun_ planning with the others. There's a certain levity this situation brings; a break to clear my mind. Though, and I hate to rhyme, I do feel bad for Diana's _behind._ "

<<>>

Kate Bishop doesn't know why she agreed to come out shopping with the sickening pair of paired up sweethearts, Carmilla Black and her girlfriend Laura Kinney, and Lyra Walters and hers America Chavez. They're very cute and she's very happy for them, but, well, Tommy's not here and she'd be damned if she talked to Janice Lincoln for more than five minutes.

The woman tried to humiliate her for christsakes!

In any case, Kate sits on a bench, grumpy that she was the least dressed up, wearing only a pair of purple running shorts and a somewhat stained tank top, relatively alone (since Janice has gone to the restroom anyway) and bored, until the whole mall goes dark.

"Guys," Kate says, voice full of trepidation. There's a fight coming, she can feel it, but she left her arrows at home. "What's happening?"

"We are," Titania's loud, booming voice comes.

All twenty Numbers of Scorpio, a veritable legion of Monica Rappaccini's robots, Masque's Maggia men, some of Joker's henchpeople, and, not to mention, the seven women who planned this entire attack are here and ready for a fight.

Unfortunately for our heroes, they did not come intending to play fair. Circe has granted them all night vision magically, and Rappaccini has armed them with SPIN tech sedative darts in the form of pistols.

It's only too easy to gun down the heroes in the dark, all five falling.

When the light's come back, Circe points to Carmilla, asking, _"That_ is who has given you all so much trouble?"

Monica takes some offense at the disrespect towards her daughter, saying, "It is _different_ when she's awake."

"I suppose there may be some truth to that," Circe shrugs. "Let's go, shall we? I want to begin as soon as possible."

As they teleport away, Janice Lincoln sneaks back. She picks up Carmilla's phone, the device having dropped out of the girl's shorts, and answers it since it's ringing.

"Hello," she answers. "This is Janice Lincoln, Carmilla's lawyer. Whatever it is, she didn't do it."

"What? No, Janice, where is Carmilla?"

Janice pauses, brief look of confusion etches itself on her face. "Donna? Why do you sound so panicked?"

"My sister and I have been calling _everyone_ and no one's been answering," Donna explains. "We have reason to fear someone's targeting us."

"...that explains why they were just gunned down in the dark and kidnapped. How can I help?"

On the other end, Donna pauses for a moment. "Stay there. I'll send a friend to come pick you up."

"I'm not fighting these robots, Donna. I love Carmilla but --"

"Don't worry. I need your help to stop it in case Diana and I fail."  

<<>>

"They have all our friends," Donna mumbles, hanging up. "It seems we're on our own."

"Honestly," Diana starts, "I can't believe this is a real thing that we're doing."

"Neither can I. With all honesty, I don't think our friends are in any real danger -- maybe their underwear, but not really their personal well-being. The only way I could see this being a true negative is if they made it public."

Diana scoffs. "Circe _is_ mad but she wouldn't stoop to such a low level tactic. What of the others?"

"I only know the Joker and Cairo. Only Joker strikes as me the type to do so, but I don't know Cairo well enough to rule her out. Though, Carmilla's mother is apart of their group, so I think she'd have something to say about broadcasting her daughter's humiliation."

"Well, we won't give them the opportunity."  

Having gotten nowhere with calling for reinforcements, Donna and Diana suit up in their superhero gear, preparing for battle. However, unknown to them, Donna's intel on the robots is outdated.

Circe unlocked their full magical potential, harnessing the power of the Blue Statue God in reality using the robotic shells as conduits, a true combination of magic and technology, while Rappaccini's advancement in robotics meant they no longer _had_ the same restrictions they did before; that is, there is no off button.

Thus, as the Wonder Sisters fly to the seven women's secret base for a final showdown, they are unprepared for the new, improved, final model of the Blue Statue Wedgie Robots. 


	2. (Evil) Girls Just Wanna Have (Evil) Fun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2/4. The thing about robots is that you can have a thousand and nobody bats an eye. Well, okay, not a _thousand_ , but there's a lot of Blue Statue Bots. Um, what else can I say about this except I got to indulge in the wackiness of comic books a lot. None of these are realistic, but they don't _have_ to be. In fact, I had a lot of fun coming up with them; though I am retiring the Blue Statue _Robots_ maybe expect to see other Blue Statue inspired things (maybe gloves, for example). 
> 
> I'm also not sure if that eighteen Natasha counts is legit, could be 17 or 19, honestly, I lost count & I don't feel like counting again. Regardless, I hope you like it! Please leave a comment!

The assembled cast of heroines have been defeated by a combination of expert teamwork, superior numbers, and quick ambushes by their enemies, a ragtag group of seven villains, and left bound to an adamantium wall by adamantium restraints. It's been twenty minutes, so they no longer struggle, as the villains took their time and gathered viewing materials.

Titania had suggested to leave them hanging while they wait for their turn to be mobbed by the statue bots, but she was shot down by Monica and Cairo, who theorized the wedgie the robots administer would be worse should the underwear not be stretched prior.

"Your mom just _had_ to be a robotics genius, huh, Carmilla?" Kate Bishop says, rolling her eyes.

Carmilla Black leans over, whipping her hair in Kate's face, since she can't move any limbs. "Excuse her for knowing shit."

Jennifer Walters speaks up, ignoring the two girl's fighting. "Uh, not that this isn't fun, but when are we starting here? I have a _date_ later."

"You're going last then!" Titania yells from auditorium seats the villain group is on, watching the proceedings. Hippolyta is still trapped in her cross wedgie behind them, though she mostly looks annoyed to be there, rather than truly discomforted or humiliated anymore.

"What _are_ we waiting for, though?" Cleo asks the other six. 

Circe shushes her and holds up her hands. "Wait for it..."

As if on cue, in come flying Diana Prince and Donna Troy, Wonder Woman and... well, Donna Troy, confused at the scenery. Though the area seems to be a straightforward Themysciran grassland, perhaps far more endless, there exists both the grand auditorium of the Greeks, no doubt created by Circe, and the adamantium wall firmly planted in the ground on the stage where the scene takes place.

"It's like home," Diana observes. "Yet... _not_."

"It isn't home, Diana," Circe says, greeting her foe. "As you were flying here, you were transported to an alternate dimension by my magic. Between you and the pretender, the captured, and my allies and I, we are the only inhabitants of this plane."

Donna questions why that is, though Diana has moved to retrieve her mother from the position she is in. The first Wonder Girl's questions are answered as the robots come and drag her onto the stage, ripping the back of her costume. Three robots grab the left side of the waistband of her sky blue panties, perhaps ironically decorated with clouds, and pull up, while another three grab the right. Once her legholes are yanked out, they grab the freshly exposed fabric and pull that with another pair of arms they sprout.

Now, the robots not only fly up, they pull apart, stretching Donna's panties beyond belief, giving her the worst wedgie she's ever gotten.

Every woman on the wall winces in sympathy as Donna's eyes widen large and her hands quickly cup her front, legs crossing to prevent the pain from spreading any further, her panties being stretched out so far in either direction a person could mistake it for the sky itself, if not for Donna's crossed legs poking out from below.

Circe cannot contain her laughter, and her friends follow suit. 

"A Bright Sky Wedgie!" Joker names the wedgie. Though the Blue Statue used to do that, Monica shutting down the protocol for their automatic release of the women if they were to become angry has rendered them unable to do so, and Joker intends to compensate.

Diana stops to look back at Donna, wincing as well, but the momentary pause proves to be her downfall. She is caught by the robots, who hold her down. On Circe's mental command, they melt into adamantium to keep her pinned to the ground.

"Not yet, Princess," Circe says. "Just watch."

Diana struggles as new robots come and bind Donna's arms and legs while the others continue stretching her panties into the vision of a clear sky.

Cleo taps a button on her phone, a randomizer, to pick the next victim. "It seems... Liberty Belle?"

Jesse sighs as her name is called, though her eyes widen when the wall behind her disappears, though it only seems just for the portion of wall she was directly behind, as the other women are still bound to it.

Her arms and legs are freed soon after, so Jesse quickly recites the formula to give her super speed, but the robots are too fast. It's almost as if they were always surrounding her, the silver, lifeless things. 

"Okay, this is... bad," she says, "This is very bad."

When she goes to punch one, it catches her arm, and the other one catches the next thrown fist, switching positions with the first robot to cross Jesse's arms in front of her long enough for another pair of robots to pull her pink panties out of her yellow jeans.

"Hey! You little pervbots! Stop it!"

The robots holding her hands switch positions again, one pressing her right hand over her heart and outstretching her left upwards. One of the robots holding her underwear turns into a silver pole that attaches itself to her back like a backpack and extends up to her wrist. The robot giving her a wedgie wraps Jesse's upper body in her pink panties, stretching the underwear ludicrously far, though it leaves her left hand alone, and then wraps her left arm up to the wrist, pole and all.

The end result is a mix of the Statue of Liberty pose and the Pledge of Allegiance, with both of her hands exposed up to the wrist. To emphasize the point, one of the robots transforms into an (unlit) replica of the torch, and attaches itself to Jesse's hand.

Once she's let go, Jesse collapses to her knees, feelings of intense discomfort from all the underwear jammed up her behind plain on her face. She tries to move her hands, but it only sends pangs of slight yet uncomfortable pain through her body.

"Okay, this is... _extremely_ bad," she mumbles.

"The American girl gets an All-American Wedgie!" Joker laughs. None of her compatriots find that joke funny, but they laugh anyway, just because it brings some red to Jesse's face.

Cleo goes to pick another one, but Titania grabs her phone from her. "Give me Jen, give me Jen," she says.

"Hey! Don't rig the process! And what happened to me going last?" Jen calls out from the wall.

"Will you be quiet!?'

Unfortunately for Titania, the next name is Emma Frost, revealed by her portion of the wall being dropped down.

Unlike Jesse, she remains bound by the adamantium restraints, and falls onto her face. The robots lift her off the ground by her waist, while one goes underneath her, forming a table.

"At least I'll be _clean_ ," she muses, trying to find some silver lining. "I can always take solace in my white clothes remaining so."

One robot grabs her feet, securing them tightly in it's grip while another grips the waistband of blue underwear she's wearing. Another robot grabs that robot, and another grabs the one grabbing her feet, repeating the process until two "teams" of four are formed.

Then, Emma's eyes widen, as she's pulled to on one side by her legs and pulled forward to the opposite by her underwear, the silk being transformed into an instrument of torture.  

She screams briefly, though she quickly bites her lip as she's given the world's worst, as Christina calls it, "Super Tug of War Wedgie!"  

The robots keep pulling, stretching the blue panties. Eventually, Emma is pulled off the table she was on, her entire body being pulled in one direction (relatively painlessly) while her panties are stretched out like the longest elastic band in the world, reaching five feet further than her head's current position.

Cleo snatches her phone back from Titania, having grown tired of watching Jesse stumble around, each of the blonde's movement making her wedgie that much worse. "Next up is Mirage," she announces.

"Meu Deus," Mirage mumbles. "Isso é _besteira._ "

The robots are on her before she can activate her powers, one lifting up her shirt and unhooking her bra.

\-- "Hey, okay, now that's a little too much!" --

While the other gives her a nuclear wedgie, pulling her red and white polka dot panties clear over her head. The robot that unhooked her bra snaps it through the legholes.  

The one giving her the wedgie lets the underwear go, leaving Miri in a bra connection wedgie. The elastic in the underwear surprisingly has enough pull to still cause discomfort around her breasts, but it still seems a little underwhelming compared to the brutality the other three women experienced.

"Ay, this isn't sooo--ow!"

Yet, no one ever said the robots were _done_. One stands in front of her, pulling her underwear from behind clear over her head once more, then hooking it under her chin. Another robot transforms into a metal hook connected to a pole, taking the intersection of her bra and her panties into it's grip, and lifts her in the air, giving her a,

"Combination Triple Wedgie!"

Miri kicks her legs in an attempt to get down, desperately trying to peel her underwear off her face to relieve the tension around her chest; the robots recognize this and transform into grips that hold her arms together and preventing her from succeeding.  

Joker takes the phone from Cleo and punches in for a new victim. Having better luck than Titania did, she gets one of her archenemies; "Ivy, step on up!"

As Ivy is let go, her bonds are rescinded. She's been trying to control the wildlife of the area since her capture, but it does not seem to respond to her. She tries once more as one robot turns into a metal pole with the thickness of a Monctezuma Cypress (that is, around 40 feet).

"Oh no," Ivy says, eyes widening, as she's lifted by her plain white panties over to the tree, having worn a black dress to bother Miri with Harley. Based on the types of wedgies the other women got, she somewhat understands what is happening; it's some sort of Spectre wedgie: it's _karmic_ or, somehow, _fitting_ given her history for the woman in question.

An ardent lover of trees, Ivy has advocated for their protection, sometimes putting herself in harm's way.

When she's put up against the wall, some feet off the ground, it makes sense when the robots start to pull the panties around the tree, securing her to it by wrapping her underwear around her torso, leaving only her head and her legs free. She winces as her underwear is stretched so far she can taste it.  

It's similar to being chained to a tree, so Joker yells out, "Tree Hugger Wedgie!"

Ivy kicks her feet, trying to reach the ground, but it's to no avail.

"This is fun!" Joker announces, ostensibly to the women beside her, but mostly to herself. "I'm so glad we did this!"

Though she says nothing and takes her phone back instead, Cleo _does_ agree. Murder is awful affair and seeing her enemies wedgied is _just_ as satisfying. Letting them go after she and her friends (though, she finds it weird to call them that) escape seems the best plan of action. Just the satisfaction of having done it, and them knowing who was responsible, is enough.  

In any case, the next woman is Kitty Pryde, the quintessential X-Woman.

Her bonds aren't undone nor has the SPIN tech worn off, leaving her trapped.

"This is _so_ weird! I haven't even done anything to you guys!"

"Ahem," Monica clears her throat. Though they haven't met like this before, they _have_ met.

"You know what I mean! I didn't do anything to deserve this, unlike Emma!"

Still being pulled, though her underwear has slowed it's stretching, Emma takes offense, "I haven't _deserved_ this!"

"You too know what I mean!"

" _No_ , Katherine, what _do_ you mean?"

"This is a revenge scheme! It has nothing to do with your poor attitude!" Kitty keeps talking as she's lifted to her feet by the robots. "It _doesn't_ , right?"

"Of course not," Monica confirms. "I hate to admit it, but it's _just_ a revenge scheme gone too far. Doing this because she was 'mean' or 'arrogant' would be petty and, in some ways, misogynistic."

"See, Frost! Hey -- I'm trying to explaiiii!!"

Kitty's cut off by the robots giving her a double wedgie, pulling on her red running shorts and her yellow boyshorts, lifting her high in the air. To cover for her ability awakening, one robot turns into a pole, and another into a metal rope. They connect in such a way that, combined with the rope threading through Kitty's legholes, the Pryde of the X-Men is left hanging some ten feet in the air.

"This is _so_ not how I wanted to spend my Wednesday afternoon..." Kitty says, wiggling in place. "Just _wait_ until I get my powers --"

She's cut off by one robot growing to her height and hitting her such that she starts spinning and another grows to hit her back. Soon, she's been pinballed around the pole; much like a tetherball. The magic of the Blue Statue prevents any ill effects of this swinging, though it _does_ make sure it keeps her attention so she cannot phase through it.

Christina, Joker, recognizes this as well, nearly leaping out of her seat. "Tetherball Wedgie! Amazing! These robots are fantastic!"

Cleo's holding out her phone, because the last two times, someone's snatched it from her. "Who's next, hm?" she asks, preempting that fate.

Cairo decides to do so, hitting random on the phone. Much like Christina, she lucks out and gets Felicia Hardy. However, she accidentally taps the button again, striking gold twice, and getting Selina Kyle as well.

"What happens when one isn't wedgied before you hit random again?" she asks. "We only tested for one."

Titania's too busy fuming that Jen wasn't picked but every other woman has gotten her archenemy to theorize, but Monica says, "We'll have to watch and see."

Both Felicia and Selina are dropped from the wall, their bonds undone. They prepare for battle with the robots, but there's too many, and both their costumes are quickly yanked up their behinds and they're hoisted in the air by four robots, each holding one side of the two women's leather costume, Felicia's black and Selina's purple.

"That's not it, is it?" Cairo asks, voice hopeful for more.

It isn't. The robots bounce them until the seats of the costume tear, catching them by their white and black panties (for Selina and Felicia respectively) before they fall. A new set of two robots grab hold of their legs while the robots giving them a wedgie start to shoot up, extending their legs like ladders.

"This is still your fault!" Selina yells at Felicia, eyes shut from discomfort.

"Whose idea was it to human centipede them!?"

"It was a joint decision, Felicia, don't you dare try to pin that on me!"

The two bicker as their wedgies get worse, the edge in their voices going nowhere even as the pain on their faces grows.  

Then, the robots push them together, smushing their bodies together. They mutually try to push themselves apart, but the robots are too strong, keeping them still and pulling Felicia's panties over her left shoulder and across to Selina's right, doing the same to Selina's, then threading the under their arms, across their bodies, in every position, stretching the panties continually until...

"Oh my god," Cairo mouths, clearly in disbelief but nonetheless estatic.

Selina and Felicia are placed back on the ground, having a hard time figuring out how to walk. The robots wrapped them up in their panties so completely they resemble a ball of yarn, save for the two thieves heads and legs poking out from the panty wrapped mess. Even worse, some intertwined fabric is left dragging along the ground, much like actual yarn.

"Yarn Wedgie! Because they're cats! Do you get it?!"

Apparently the Blue Statue shares Joker's sense of humor, because the women beside her look nonplussed. They appreciate the severity of the wedgie, certainly, but _come on._

" _This_ is the most ridiculous thing ever," Selina mumbles in pain, trying to walk in concert with Felicia. Eventually, she and Felicia decide to just stand still because moving is just making it worse.

Cairo chooses again, not giving the phone back to Cleo, though the Egyptian woman does snatch it back anyway.

"It's Zatanna," she says, bothered that she didn't get to choose this time. "Let's get ready for the show, I guess."

Though released from her arm and leg bonds, Zatanna is still yet gagged with a piece of cloth, as her magic could be dangerous should she speak, and, unique to her, the magician's hands bound open so she can't sign. She stumbles out into the open, the robots swarming her quickly.

As she didn't get a chance to change into her work clothes, the robots dig into her leather pants, pulling out a pair of rainbow tie dye panties and lifting her high in the air.

Though she cannot speak, Zatanna has _incredibly_ expressive eyes, and they tell the story of her discomfort as well as any words she could say.

"Ooh, sick nuclear wedgie!" Joker yells, having fun spectating.

The robots then wrap the panties around Zatanna, mummifying her from head to toe in her underwear, ramming massive amounts of fabric into her. As the final touch, they put the waistband onto her forehead, leaving her eyes still squinted from the discomfort of the wedgie. She thrashes about when she's let go to fall on the ground, trying to find some way to free herself.

"Hey, Zatanna's the world's greatest escape artist next to Mister Miracle, right?" Joker cackles, causing Zatanna to crane her head up to glare at her. "Let's see her get out of the Mummy Wedgie!"

As a magically apt individual, even if differently, Circe has to appreciate the nod to classical stage magic.

Cleo pushes the button before anyone can steal it from her. "Looker!' she yells, moving the phone away from Titania, who's trying to take it from her.

Emily is let go, looking around at the wedgies that were given or are still being given, and then back at the other women trapped on the wall. Of them all, she is perhaps the one that likes this stuff the _least,_ having gotten and given her first and only wedgies when she battled Christina before.  

The robots form five bars that float in mid-air, held up by their own magic and technology, while another pair reach into the waist of Emily's backless jumpsuit and pull out her dark red lace panties, stretching them in all sorts of directions.

They lift her in the air and --

"Titania!"

The attention from her is directed over to Titania, who's pulled Cleo's pink trimmed, white panties over her head, to steal the phone away from her. The dancer looks more peeved than embarrassed, standing with her arms crossed.

When everyone turns their attention back to Looker, they see Emily looking _incredibly_ uncomfortable, eyes shut. Somehow, the robots have stretched her panties into the form of a star held up by the five bars with Emily in the center, her underwear looking much like someone performed a rubber band trick.

"I'm never talking to any of you ever again," she promises, though her voice is a little squeaky given the situation.

"Alright! This one is Greenie for sure!" Titania says, pushing the button with all the confidence in the world. She deflates once it's revealed not to be Jen, but "White Tiger."

"Hey, I wanted it to be Jen too," Angela says, as she's released from her bonds on the wall. "Try again, c'mon."

"Solidarity is a myth," Jen responds, rolling her eyes.

Angela sticks her tongue out, not much caring about the FBI background right now as the robots carry her away from the wall. "Bite me, Walters."

Wasting little time, the robots rip the front of Angela's costume at the waist and pull her solid pink panties out and up, giving her the mother of all melvins. "I'll take being pushed off a roof over this anyday..." she mumbles to herself.

The front of her underwear is pulled over her face, but another robot grips it from behind pulling it all the way to the ground and holding it still. A pair of robots then lift Angela four feet off the ground, causing her to yelp, and start running forward with her.

"Wait, wait. I have the perfect name for this..."

Joker theorizes, like legitimately so, even pulling out a notebook to sketch ideas, as Angela is pulled forward, her face buried deeper in her panties with each step the robots make. Though they should rip, the magic of the Blue Statue prevents it from happening, so she soon reaches five feet from where the other robot that has a hold on her panties remains.

"Right Angle wedgie?" Joker asks, seeing that because of Angela's height and distance, the arc her panties are making resemble the opposite side of a triangle to a right angle. Seeing no other alternative, the madwoman is about to accept her chosen name, until a robot comes sliding down the bridge formed from Angela's panties, bouncing them and wedging them even deeper inside the White Tiger, making the woman yelp and wiggle in her restraints.

"Slide Wedgie!" Joker yells, like she's discovered electricity. "That's it!"

Cleo can't help but laugh as she fixes her underwear beneath her dress; not because Jokr is funny, but because that serves White Tiger right for giving _her_ a melvin that one time.

Titania hands her back the phone, resuming fuming. "I don't want to do it no more."

"Why? Because it doesn't like you?" Cleo teases.

"You want to _taste_ your panties, huh?"

"So angry," Cleo says, though she lets it rest after that. "The next is Daisy Johnson? I don't know --"

Masque has been passively observing so far, laughing when something's funny, but just watching for the most part. Until now.

"Get her!" she says, nearly cheering.

"What happened to you, you did it to yourself!" Daisy yells as she's let go. The SPIN tech still has her powers disabled, but no chances are taken anyway, the robots keeping her arms bound.

"I did not!" Masque yells back.

Natasha and Bobbi both chime in, 'We caught you," one says, while the other says, "It was really embarrassing, actually. Who _wants_ a panty mask?"

"Would you two liars shut up!?"

Before the two sides could argue any more, the robots reach into Daisy's pants and pull out her surprisingly plain gray panties, lifting her high, nearly fifteen feet in the air.

A robot comes and pulls her down, increasing her weight so she sinks into her underwear up to her armpits, the underwear directly under her chest.  

"This is... _so_ bad," Daisy says, kicking her legs weakly when the robot lets go. "Natasha, we're _never_ working together ever again..."

It gets worse, however, because the robots holding her aloft start to vibrate intensely, shaking Daisy around in the air; using their magic to prevent her from getting nauseous.

"So-o--ooo--o mu--much wor---worse!" Daisy yells, being jolted around violently, each and every vibration wedging her already deeply sunk panties further and further.

"It's like an earthquake!" Joker observes. "It's an Earthquake Wedgie!"

Despite getting the wedgie of a lifetime, Daisy still has enough fight left in her to taunt Joker with, "Y-You're sooo-oooooo clever!"

Ignoring her, Joker asks Cleo to choose another.

"Mm, Kate Bishop?" Cleo mocks looking around, "Is there a Kate Bishop here? Ah, there she is."

Masque is yet again eating this up, having had some of the robots shut up Bobbi and Natasha with gags in the meantime. "That Bishop girl _deserves_ this for humiliating me."

Kate's bonds are released, but she doesn't even try to fight, instead just pointing at Masque, "Okay, this one you _definitely_ started."

"So?"

"I'm just -- hey! I'm trying to be witty here!"

The robots don't care, pulling Kate's purple running briefs (a new pair, since a previous one was left horrendously stretched by her boyfriend) out of her jeans, and with them, the girl herself ten feet into the air.

"When will they stop dangling us!?" she asks, kicking her feet around. "It's getting old!"

"Not to me!" Joker yells.

The robots bend Kate 90 degrees forward, one of them transforming into a pommel with two openings for her arms she's leaned onto, with another pair grabbing her arms and holding her down. The remaining robots keep stretching Kate's underwear higher and higher.

"Could it be!?" Despite her enthusiastic tone, Joker has _no_ idea what "it could be," but she's very committed to her running commentary, so she pretends to.

Once the robots stretch the panties to a satisfactory length, one flies up and transforms into a ball. Another robot grabs the new ball and uses Kate's stretched out seat as a slingshot, vibrating the panties as the ball is fired into the distance, hitting nothing but the ground. Kate shrieks as the vibrating underwear sinks into her, but she sees Masque's face and hardens her expression into a glare. One still marred by the the slight pain of a wedgie, but a glare nonetheless.

However, another robot comes and turns into a ball, the others creating a never-ending game with Kate's panties as the slingshot. Each shot fire makes the panties vibrate, before the underwear still in time, just to be made to vibrate once again.

"That's it!" Joker exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air. "An Angry Bird Wedgie!" 

"Oh, I am -- owowowow -- I am _definitely_ angry!"

"Shush, Kate, I'm trying to enjoy the sight," Masque says.

In response, Kate starts yelling out a stream of non-Comic Code curses, all designed to ruin Masque's experience.

Since Kate's being censored, Cleo moves on, pushing the button to choose the next unfortunate woman to fall prey to these robots.

Much like Zatanna, the next chosen is also gagged: "Black Canary!" Cleo announces. "Who is _very_ committed to the fishnet look... hm, well, good for you, girl, you sure do work it!"

_Thank you?_ Canary thinks, not really being able to speak, and hoping that the message comes across with her eyes. Her arms are still bound, but her legs are freed.

So, taking advantage of that mistake, she kicks. And she does well, knocking down a number of robots through sheer force.

However, she can't destroy the adamantium, and the robots seem to be multiplying. A number of them combine and transform into ten bars. Canary stops, eyes widening when she sees she's trapped in a makeshift bird cage.

"This is going to _hurt_ ," Titania says, to which Circe grips the bruiser's shoulder in agreement.

The robots take Canary's flower print boyshorts out of her shorts and start wrapping them around the bars, individually and then together, pulling Canary in a number of directions, wedging the underwear deep inside her, before finally settling her in the center, where she hangs, eyes upset, kicking her legs trying to get down.

"Bird Cage Wedgie!" Joker announces, not caring that it was all too easy to come up with that one.

"Ouch," Cairo says.

"Yeah, that one was _bad_ ," Carmilla agrees.

"Finally something we agree on, dear," Monica says. "So, who's next?"

"Uh, Cyclone?" Cleo answers. "Who's... oh."

Maxine is let go, flopping face first onto the ground.  

Like Canary and Zatanna, she too has been gagged, though not because of any superpower, but because she just wouldn't shut up. Her arms and legs remain bound so she won't use her powers (SPIN doesn't work on metahumans).

"The motormouth," Joker changes her voice to sound more like a serious golf announcer, "It'll be interesting to see how this one goes."

Maxine tries to roll away, but the robots pick her up, pulling her black and white polka dot granny panties out of her leggings, making her squeal into her gag. One retains it's grip, growing in size so Maxine is three feet off the ground. Another robot lifts that one up into the air, dangling Maxine higher, the girl wiggling in the air, and then it starts to spin.

 _Fast_.

 _ **Very** fast_.

Again, using their magic to prevent nausea, the robots spin Maxine such that she is only a blur, stopping briefly to turn clockwise or counter. Every time they stop, Maxine thinks it's over, until her eyes go wide when she's spun around again. For some reason, her glasses refuse to fall of her face; Maxine only notices because she needs _any_ distraction from the wedgie she's getting.

"Sped Up Clock Wedgie!" Joker announces.

"Mm, I prefer Tornado Wedgie," Cairo says, only meaning to offer a helpful suggestion, but all of her friends and the women on the wall take it as a challenge.

As such, she gets a shoulder wedgie with her frilly top pink panties for her troubles, and decides to leave the naming to Christina while she struggles to pry the underwear off her shoulder.

"Next!" Joker demands, a bit upset she was upstaged as Cairo _did_ have the better name.

"Maria Vasquez! --oh shoot, sorry, I pushed the button again." Cleo's faux apology fools no one. "Well, get ready, Natasha."

 Both spider-themed-in-name-only heroines are dropped from their spots on the wall. Their bonds are released in full, but the number of robots far exceed any amount they could fight off on their own, though they do try, until the robots hold their arms apart and hold their legs.

Natasha looks back to the wall and notices there are still thirteen spots left. Combining Donna, who's panties are still being stretched like the sky, and Hippolyta, still held aloft with her underwear, that's a total of 18 wedgies so far. She's somewhat impressed by the villains in this instance; if they wanted to, they might've been able to kill them. Perhaps it's simply flexing that they can, reminding the heroes that, as brutal as the wedgies are, they're still mercy. Perhaps, as Natasha thinks, she's putting too much thought into the motivation of seven women just having fun.

While she's thinking, Maria's panties are being stretched ridiculously so, the robots turning into floating poles to thread her underwear over and under, up and down, until they resemble a spider-web with Maria in the middle. Tarantula's face is the picture of discomfort and surprise, her pretty mouth trapped in an "o" shape because of how much underwear is currently inside her.

The robots then turn their attention to Natasha, pulling her solid black hi-cut panties out of the waist of her suit, and pulling up and across her body, wrapping her up like a spider wraps up it's prey.

She struggles as she's let go, rolling around on the ground much the same as Zatanna did for a few minutes until she gave up, as every movement wedges the panties deeper, sending a jolt through the body. The robots lift her up still, and stick her to Maria's back, using their magic to make that specific part of Maria's underwear adhesive enough that Natasha is stuck.

Natasha continues to struggles, believing she's making some headway, though it truly only worsens Maria's wedgie.

"Stop, Natasha! You're making it worse!"

"This is _incredibly_ uncomfortable, I'm not going to just _sit here_ , Maria."

While they argue, Joker has come up with a name, "The Spider-Web Wedgie!"

"Brilliant," Cairo says, not catching the sarcasm in her voice until it was too late. And she _just_ put her panties back in her skirt.

While Cleo chooses the next woman, the other villains turn their attention to Joker giving Cairo a wedgie, going with an underhanded grip and balling up her fists to get a lot of fabric.

"Are you two finished?" Cleo says, "I'd like to announce who's next." 


	3. The Final Countdown

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 3/4. After a decisive victory, things are looking bad for our plucky band of seven villains, as all, like, twenty five, twenty six (?) heroes are now free. Who hacked them? Why, only the best in all the Nine Realms, the most connected woman in the entire DC Universe (at least, prior to the New 52 regressing her just to make her "quirky & relatable" but I digress.) Her identity will be revealed in the final part.
> 
> Funnily enough, though, I think the bad guys got the most characterization, even up to this point, and in the next installment, it kind of reads like a spin-off pilot. Weird how that happened, because I didn't plan it. Ah, the creative process.

As Cleo Nefertiti chooses the next woman, the other villains and, indeed, the other heroic women (even those being wedgied, provided their vision is not obscured), turn their attention to Joker giving Cairo a wedgie, going with an underhanded grip and balling up her fists to get a lot of fabric.

"Are you two finished?" Cleo says, "I'd like to announce who's next."

"Go ahead," Joker says, pulling harder. "Right, Cairo?"

The woman bites her lip to not scream, holding her blouse up in tightly balled fists, inadvertantly exposing some skin, and nods.

Cleo sighs. "If you say so. Next up is, oh, how nice. Elektra Natchios. If none of these women deserve this, _you_ are the exception."

Elektra doesn't give her the satisfaction of the arguments the others gave, deciding to take her wedgie with silence. It's a startling contrast; nobility mixed with an indignity. Her leg bindings are undone, but Elektra doesn't fight, only closing her eyes to brace herself.

The robots pounce, one forming a pole in the air while the others hold her down. Another two grab the straps of her leotard, pulling them, and her, up. Elektra involuntarily kicks her legs as she's lifted, which makes Cleo cackle out of spite.

"Hey, shut it, Elphaba!" Carmilla yells. "That's the worst laugh I've ever heard!"

"Watch it, you!" Cleo yells back.

"Oh man, what a good comeback!"

"Just shut up! I'm trying to -- oh, come on!"

In her shouting match with Carmilla, Cleo missed the robots placing Elektra's straps on the pole, leaving her in a severe hanging wedgie. The assassin wore a nude pair of underwear underneath her leotard and a black strapless bra, so she was not as exposed as she could have been, which miffed Cleo a bit as well.

What happened _next_ made her happy, however, as the robots grabbed Elektra's legs and spun her around, the assassin swinging around like a gymnast would, except the grip isn't her hands, but her leotard's straps.

They give her some time to breathe, Elektra's face a picture of discomfort, her leotard haven sunk deeper (something the Greek didn't believe possible), and her hair disheveled, before spinning her around again.

"Giant Swing Wedgie!" Joker yells, pulling on Cairo's panties once more before letting them snap back. "Boy, this is _fun_."

"Isn't it?" Cleo hands her phone to someone else, content to just watch Elektra swing around, still peeved about that hanging wedgie the assassin gave her which started this whole thing for her.

Joker, takes the phone from her. "Next is Harley, I just know it!"

"Don't jinx me, ya' crazy!" Harley yells.

Like prophesied, it _is_ Harley, and she is released from the wall.

Titania throws her hands up in exasperation -- it works for everyone _but_ her -- while Circe and Monica try to comfort her some, reminding her it's random and Jen's time will come.

Meanwhile, Harley's legs are freed and, though she tries running away, the clown finds her path is blocked by the robots. She tries turning around to run, and that fails as well.

"Gee, gotta' girl between a rock an' a hard place, don'cha?" Harley says, trying to stay as far away from the robots as possible, but the realization that's impossible starting to sink in. "Hey, Joker, there anythin' I can do for ya?"

Joker crosses her arms and taps her chin thoughtfully, "Hm... nope! Have fun!"

The robots pounce, burying Harley underneath them while one transforms into a bar, like it did for Elektra's wedgie. When Harley is brought up for air, the robots have already taken both the front and back of her pink Spongebob panties and pulled them up high enough to hide her head.

Another set of robots, split her legs apart, pulling the left one forward and the right backwards.

"This is some kinda' _invasive_ therapy, Doc', and I'm not likin' it one bit!"

"Yes, yes, Harley, I knew you _wouldn't_. I hope you're ready for the..."

The robots stretch Harley's panties, pulling them so far they are able to wrap the front around her left ankle and the back around her right ankle. Continuing the stretching they hold Harley's legs in place, while tying the panties together atop the center of the bar, such that Quinn resembles a silks expert performing the Splits Balance.

"Wow!" Joker grins. "A Splits Balance Wedgie! How's it feel, love?"

"Peachy," Harley lies through gritted teeth, the wedgie ruining the idea of ever wearing underwear again.

"Well, who's next?" Joker holds the phone up. Having, more or less, gotten her targets, she's no longer much concerned about who gets what wedgie.

Titania holds her hand out, but quickly pulls it back when she recognizes Jen has a higher chance of being picked if she doesn't, since the universe seems out to screw her.

Instead, Masque takes the phone just to offer it to Monica. "You haven't picked anyway all day, Rappaccini."

"Mm, I'm fine," the scientist responds, "I'm having fun just watching."

"If you say so," she says, pushing the button, "Oh, here's one you'll like:  _Mockingbird._ "

"Ah, you see," Monica says, smiling, " _Fun_."

Bobbi is let free of both her bindings, though she truly doesn't want to be. "Hey, Rappaccini, _shut up._ "

Monica does as she's told, but she smiles in mock pity instead, getting the metaphorical one up on Bobbi.

Pulling her staves out, she quickly takes the fight to the robots, but one that she knocked down trips her, and she lands face first onto the ground. The robots quickly use this opportunity to pull her lime green panties out of her white and purple pants, dragging her along the ground briefly before using them to lift her onto her feet.

_Clint's a joke compared to these things,_ Bobbi thinks, gritting her teeth as she gets a huge wedgie, pulling the underwear clear over her head. Then, it's pulled over her face, another robot coming to keep pulling down, and Bobbi's underwear is wrapped around her vertically until she's little more than a green ball with her arms and legs free.

Even the women already in a brutal wedgie (including Miri who can't even see) wince as Bobbi stumbles around, receiving the "Rubber Band Ball Wedgie" as Joker dubs it.

_He's definitely a joke._

The magic of the Blue Statue covers Bobbi's breathing as it did for Miri and the other women, but this is still not a position she can say she wants to be in, even with the worst of it being taken care of. Blinded

"Nine left," Circe says. "Counting _darling Diana_ , of course." 

Wonder Woman still struggles to get free, but the weight of the adamantium is too much, as every time she musters enough strength to stand, more robots come and pour themselves on top of her, weighing her back down.

"This only ends one way, Circe. Another, as Joker would call it, _River Wedgie_."

The witch goddess turns red, clearly upset. "Next one!"

Cairo's been given the phone by Masque, who wants no part of Circe should it fail to choose Diana. "It isn't --mmff!"

Like Masque thought would happen, Circe's upset over it, and she used her magic to give Cairo a face-covering atomic wedgie. Cairo groans into her panty mask, clearly bothered she's become the designated wedgie girl between her friends, and tries to get her underwear off her face.

Circe uses her magic to teleport the phone into her hand. "Hm, Illyana Rasputina, Magik. Oh, little girl --"

"I'm _twenty two_ and the Sorceress Supreme of Limbo, witch," Illyana corrects as she's let go, allowed to fall flat on her face. 

"Well, this _isn't_ your home, is it?" Circe dismisses her with a wave of her perfectly manicured hand. "Robots, do what you will with her."

Though they would have done so without Circe's command at some point, the robots surround Illyana coincidentally as Circe speaks. One grabs the Sorceress Supreme's brown panties and lifts her high in the air by them, causing Illyana to squeal. Another robot, perplexingly to Illyana, turns into a giant cup.

"Okay, _this_ is the most ridiculous one," Cleo says, finally peeling her attention from Elektra. "A cup?"

'It's a Ball and Cup Wedgie!" Joker yells, before it's completed.

However she came to that conclusion, the madwoman  _is_ right and the robot's tie Illyana's waistband to the bottom of the cup and proceed to stretch her panties out trying to get her into the cup. It's padded, so she doesn't hurt herself when she bumps into it, but it's still not a fun experience.

"This is all your fault, Emma!" Illyana manages, shrieking in between words as she hits the side of the padded cup.

"Stop blaming me!" Emma protests, still being given the ultimate tug of war wedgie.

Circe, being unfamiliar with the ball and cup game, figures whatever is supposed to have happened has done so and pushes the button for the next one. It isn't Diana, like she hoped, instead a woman rather similar to Diana: Thundra.

"Unbelievable," Circe says, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

"Now you know how _I_ feel," Titania throws her arm around Circe in mutual frustration.

The witch hands the phone back to Masque, giving up on the entire process.

Thundra's arms and legs remain bound as she's let free, but the robots catch her before she falls. They keep her trapped because she's one of the few women present that pose a physical threat to them, the sentience of the statue making them cognizant of the fact. 

"Hit me with your best -- ow! Let me finish!"

Thundra's blue, pink, and white striped panties are pulled from her pants and up to her neck in one fell swoop, the robots stretching them high before letting it snap back. That isn't the end, however, and as a follow-up, they begin to wrap it around her waist and then down, down, down, down, until she looks like a mermaid, even tying a bow at the bottom of her feet to look like a fin.

"...I don't understand why we keep doing this..."

"Because it's fun!" Joker yells at her. "And that was a Mermaid Wedgie!"

Thundra flops around some like a fish, trying to free her arms to no avail. Each movement makes her wedgie worse and Thundra eventually settles for sitting herself upright against Emma's stool.

"You come here often?" Thundra jests to Emma.

Emma, her panties still being stretched, manages exasperation and confusion in her tone. " _Really?_  You're hitting on me right now?"

Masque determines the former matriarch of the United Sisterhood Republic wedgie is done once she starts flirting with Emma and the robots make no move, so she selects the next woman up.

"Hm, Wolverine? Is there a... ah, _there_ she is."

Laura is dropped down and the robots quickly lift her off the ground. They make a mistake in holding her, as Laura uses her foot claws to slice one up even with her legs still bound together, becoming the first to score a kill.

"Go, Laura!" Carmilla cheers from the wall. "Get 'em, girl!"

The robots quickly regroup and push Laura onto her face in the grass.

Carmilla enthusiasm deflates, though she still hopes Laura can figure out a way free. But, it's a small possibility, as the robots again form the mid-air bar, this time two feet high. Laura is tied down to another robot that has transformed into a comfortable table.

They pull her plain yellow panties up high out of her plaid skirt, earning a squeak from Laura as she tries to find some way to alleviate the pressure. The undies are pulled all the way up to the bar and then, a robot-turned-rope is threaded through her legholes. On the other end, a robot has turned into a large bucket, and another into a fountain.

"Oh no," Carmilla whispers.

"Carmilla, we're through," Laura is somewhat joking, but she sure feels like the head she gets isn't worth this, "Your mother is _insufferable_."

"I didn't choose you," Monica challenges.

"Still -- _ow_."

Water is poured into the bucket, making it heavier and tightening Laura's wedgie, causing her body to lurch forward.

"Initiation Wedgie!" Joker yells. The other six look at her in confusion. "Oh, I know _you're_ not confused, Circe. This is Sorority 101." 

Circe shakes her head. "The Greek Gods don't care about what you people do in 'college.'"

"Oh, okay. _You people_ ," Joker mocks offense, though some is genuine. " _Whatever_. Pick the next one."

"Fine," Circe says, taking the phone from Masque. She accidentally presses it twice, however, and the next chosen is "Lyra and America?"

The two lovers are released from the wall. The robots, for some strange reason, release Lyra's legs, and she starts kicking them to pieces, though enough manage to hold them apart. The others put America's head between her thighs from behind and the bonds are redone, so Lyra's permanently sandwiching her girlfriend's head (thankfully, Lyra's wearing dark red jeans). It's not a new position for either of them, really, but the circumstances make it much less desirable.

"Come on!" America yells from her position. "That one is just posed like the Statue of Liberty!"

"It's very uncomfortable!" Jesse yells back, still trying to get her arm down.

"Oh yeah? Let's trade then, if it's so uncomfortable."

"Sh-- _no_."

The robots give America and Lyra huge wedgies, pulling the former's ruffled plaid panties up high, getting them up to Lyra's neck, and the latter's purple lace panties over her face. Lyra grits her teeth, though America curses the entire time her panties invade her; the robots keep pulling until they pull Lyra's panties up over her face and then hook them onto America's chin, then follow it up by wrapping America's panties around Lyra's face. 

Though they can do little more than struggle, the two women are posed like a certain mythological beast... 

"That's a Centaur Wedgie!" Joker exclaims, this time too loud for anyone's comfort. "Wow, I think that might be the best one. In any case, it's my favorite."

"And then there were four," Monica says. "Hm, well, let's see who's next. Circe?"

" _Not_ Diana. Betty Ross."

Titania grabs the phone from her, and pushes the button once more. "And Jennifer Walters! You're going with her, Greenie!"

Jen scoffs. "Stop calling me that, _Skeeter._ "

"Shut it! Don't call me that!"

While Jen is left to roll on the ground, still bound, Betty Hulks out, destroying her restraints. For the first time, legitimate fear is struck into the hearts of the spectating seven as Ross destroys countless robots. Circe, in desperation, sends a magic spell down to disorient her; it only lasts a moment, but it's enough for the robots to mob her anyway and reform bonds by melting down their own bodies.

It seems all Betty's managed to accomplish is make herself heavier.

"Nice try, though," Jen says, not really meaning it.

"Yeah, yeah," Betty dismisses. "Don't try and save my pride."

A bar is formed by the combination of three robots, creating one as long as your average weight bar, but far sturdier. At one end, the robots affix Jen's purple and white panties (made in the same style as her old leotard) by tying them around it, finishing with a little bow, and at the other, they do the same to Betty's starry sky panties.

"This isn't so bad," Betty says, tempting fate; her underwear is wedged so deeply she can taste it, but it isn't yet as over the top as the others. Then she looks up and sees a robot starting to grow colossal. "I spoke too soon."

Jen sucks her teeth. "You think?" 

Titania's loving it; when the now giant robot picks up the bar, she cheers. When it starts going through the motions of a powerlifter; that is erratic bursts of lifting and jumping into the air that send the women yelping and jolting around on the bars, wedgies growing deeper with each repetition.

"Listen, Titania, if you make me miss my date," Jen threatens, sounding somewhat intimidating despite her current predicament. "I will attach your underwear to your colon!"

"Can't hear you over yet another rep," Titania taunts, pushing through some fear of Jen. "That robot is strong, huh?"

"You know -- ow, Jesus Christ! You're asking for it!"

"So were you! What are those --"

"Official She-Hulk panties, yes, I know your --owowow -- I know your jokes, Mary."

Titania crosses her arms, because Jen is taking all the fun out of it. Betty is impressed, though she's much too busy being bounced around to really congratulate Jen. 

"Next one, Titania?" Cleo asks, somewhat cautiously.

"Huh? Oh, yeah," Titania replies absently; she pushes the button, getting Diana, finally.

Diana is lifted from the ground, though still bound. Circe tilts her head, smiling pleasantly with the legendary heroine.

" _Finally_ ," the witch goddess says. "Oh, how I wonder what these robots will do with you, Diana!"

"Nothing I can't handle," Diana retorts.

"Oh, I don't doubt that. A mere wedgie, however severe, wouldn't make _your_ spirit break. But just the sight of you with those star spangled panties stretched out so far will _still_ be satisfying."  

The robots pull Diana's bottoms up high in the back, lifting her off the ground, and allow her enough freedom of movement to cup her crotch, though they bound her arms, preventing her from moving them _from_ there. Then, more come to pull up the front (because Diana's hands are there, she isn't exposed to anyone, but she's wearing a plain black pair of underwear underneath anyway) and the sides, before tying them in a knot together atop her head, wrapping Diana's upper body in the lower part of her costume.

She kicks as she's held in the air, though it only serves to wedge her bottoms in deeper. One of the robots form into a metal pole with a rope that ties around the knot Diana's bottoms and leaves her swinging a few feet in the air. To add insult to injury, some robots leap up and pull her down, bouncing her around once they let go and increasing her wedgie as she swings.

"Wow," Joker says. "Well, I don't know what to call that one. She kinds of looks like a... Bell Wedgie!" It's a bit of stretch, Joker knows, but Diana does somewhat resembles a bell that's been rung.

"And finally, the menace of _everyone_ here," Masque begins. "Carmilla Black."

"Hey, can we talk about this?" Carmilla asks, pleading with her eyes. "I _apologize_ for giving you guys wedgies and I will never do this again."

"Do you really think that'll work?" Cairo asks.

Carmilla shakes her head. "Nah, not really. What's left, huh?"

The remaining robots that aren't involved in a wedgie begin to coalesce into one super giant robot; the Megazord of Wedgie Robots, if you will.

"...that looks like... _zero_ fun."

When Carmilla's let go, she's free of all her restraints. She tries to run, but the super robot catches her with one wave of it's giant hand.

"The _Every_ Wedgie," Joker says. "We programmed it _just_ for you."

"Hey, thanks, I'll be sure to send a card," Carmilla replies. Her pink boyshorts are pulled up out of her black shorts with such intensity, her eyes instantly widen like plates. 

_This is the worst wedgie I have ever gotten,_ she thinks and it hasn't even really started. The super robot gives her a number of wedgies, twisting her panties all around, performing tricks like her panties were a string, wrapping her up and spinning her free like a yoyo, twirling her around in the air like a helicopter, simply nonstop wedgie assault.

Monica winces in sympathy; but once this is done, she won't have to worry about Carmilla giving her atomic wedgies anymore. If anything, she'll have to deal with her daughter trying to arrest her which, to be fair, she has reason to.

Masque claps her hands after taking in the scene. "So, are we putting them all in the same place, or should we spread them out over different locales?"

Cairo clears her throat. "About that, Masque, some of us have decided that, well, we don't want to do that. It seems excessive and, quite honestly, we can't do it in good conscious."

"We're _villains._ What conscious do you _have_?"

"The kind that doesn't want our big name defeat of superheroes to be by giving them wedgies," Cleo answers. "Besides, as awful as these 'heroes' have been to us, they haven't humiliated us publicly when they have had the chance. Spider-Man often ties his villains up, for example, which is extremely embarrassing. I say we extend to these women the same courtesy."

Titania interjects, "Jen and her nieces left me hanging in public on two separate occassions --"

"Did you _really_ have a reputation to protect?" Monica interrupts. "I'm sure no one even brings up you being hung off that lamppost in favor of that time _you were defeated by a bus_."

"Alright, okay, I see your point, but still. It's the principle of the thing --"

Before the women can argue any further, the robots shut down, having the side effect of shutting down their conversation.

"What just happened?" Cairo asks, voice full of fear. This is the start of a bad time.

"You've been hacked," comes a voice that Masque recognizes.

"Beetle?" the Maggia leader asks. "I thought --"

Janice Lincoln, Beetle, shrugs. "Wrong. You thought wrong. As weird as it is to say, this might be my superhero origin story."

"You can't stop us by yourself," Circe says, hands glowing with magic. "It was a mistake to come here."

"Yeah, well, when people can fly into your alternate dimension," Janice points to where Zatanna is, "You can't expect a girl to travel alone"

Thanks to Janice's distratction, Koriand'r, known to her friends as Kory, but better known to all as Starfire, was able to sneak past the villains, and free Zatanna's mouth. "You guys really should pay attention," she says, helping Zatanna up to a vertical base.

The logomancer casted a simple spell: "eerF su." 


	4. Overture

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And, thus the final installment was writtten. I'm not gonna' lie, the Blue Statues were a lot of fun to write. I kind of rushed through the epilogues, but I did put a lot of girls being friends and girls being gay, so I did what I had set out to do. If I'm writing just what I like, then that's what I like. If I didn't write anyone in character, let me know, it's kind of hard juggling so many characters. I stayed feeling like I was doing wrong by some because they didn't get a lot of dialogue.

All the heroines are thus freed from their brutal wedgies, with Zatanna's spell having the added effect of fixing their underwear back to it's non-stretched out dimensions. Each woman gathered looks absolutely pissed off, crowding around the villains.

"Time to go," Circe says, about to cast a spell, but Zatanna quickly says, "yloM!", replacing all the grass in this dimension with the one herb that stifles her powers. 

Monica begins to use her teleporter but Janice activates an EMP, shutting down both hers and Cleo's.

"Don't leave us just yet, Doc'," Janice teases. "You've got a lot to answer for."

Kory, Thundra, and Donna manage to lift the entire section of the auditorium the villains are on and drop those seven women into the arms of a waiting hero. Seeing no reason to try and fight back, the villains hold up their hands in surrender.

"We can talk this out, right?" Titania asks. "You know we were just playing around."

Jen grins, "It's our turn now." She turns to Janice, "Can you get these robots back online?"

The Super Robot speaks, "What do you need?" 

Canary recognizes that voice: "Babs?"

"Yeah, Dinah, it's me," Barbara Gordon, the Oracle, says from the robot, though still sitting comfortably at home, "Donna sent Janice and Kory to me after these seven attacked the mall. Took a while, but I was able to steal control of the robots."

"And you just picked the biggest one?"

"Hey, I can't get this one back online, so I figured why not use the dud?"

"Mhm," Canary says. "Well, just sic the robots on these ones."

"Thanks, Babs!" Carmilla screams, though that's not really necessary because Barbara could hear her inside voice as well as her concert voice.

Lyra points to the villains, who have been let go and form a tight knit circle. "So, which one of you wants to go first?"

None of the women were quite ready to volunteer to be the first wedgied, so the seven villains all looked at each other, hoping one would take one for the team. Seeing none, they made one of their famous group decisions, sacrificing Cairo.

'You six are..." her anger trails off when she notices the robots surrounding her. They pull her frilly top pink panties out of her skirt, and begin wrapping it around her upper body, the villainess getting flashbacks to the Bat Wedgie she received the last time, the underwear as deeply wedged in her behind as it was then. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there, wrapping her face up too, and then around again until the she resembles a ball with legs, the Blue Statue taking care of her breathing.

She stumbles around, blinded, like a giant impractical fashion design.

"High Fashion Wedgie?" Carmilla offers. The assembled heroines agree on it, seeing little better.

Diana and Hippolyta don't wait, pulling Circe out. "Get her next," the Queen of the Amazon says, while her daughter pushes the witch goddess out into the open.

"You two are _evil,_ " Circe says, entirely aware she's being a hypocrite. "What happened to peace and love among women?"

"Amazons punish transgressions. Have fun, Circe," Diana responds, she and her mother smiling in the same patronizing way the witch goddess had done to them.

In retrospect, Circe will regret wearing leggings, but for now, she is more worried about getting free from the robots. It doesn't happen, two holding her arms out in front of her, while one digs around and fishes out her Greek flag panties.

And pulls. And pulls. And pulls. And pulls. And pulls. A never-ending stream of fabric is pulled from Circe's tight leggings, her eyes widening and face twisting in absolute discomfort with each succesesive pull.

"Is that the Handkerchief technique?" Zatanna asks, recognizing an old magic trick that's taught to every basic beginner. "Usually the cloth changes but... _ouch._ "

"Ouch is right," Kitty says, wincing. "Hey, so is this a Handkerchief Wedgie or a Never Ending Wedgie?"

"I think Never Ending sounds better," Miri says, earning some murmurs of agreement, and so it's decided.

Next up, is Titania and Cleo, the two having become a close pair, even holding each other in dread. Lyra and America, both upset, want to inflict the same punishment that was heaped onto them onto someone else, so they chose those two. Thanks to her prodigious hacking, Barbara is able to program the robots to do it, using the data in their memory banks.

Titania squrims as Cleo's head is thrust in between her thighs. "C'mon, this ain't -- Hey, Cleo get your head out of there!"

"Trust me, I _don't_ want to be here!"

Titania's She-Hulk panties make a reappearance when they're pulled out of her purple shorts, Jen facepalming at the sight, and are pulled over her face and then, over Cleo's. She struggles to get them off, but that's made harder when her arms are stuffed into her legholes. Her thrashing only makes her bare thighs slap more against Cleo's face, the thief slapping Titania's legs in response.

"Cut it out! Your meat keeps hitting me in my face!" she yells, muffled somewhat, but because of the thinness of the stretched fabric, she's still understandable.

"That's what she said," Kate says quickly.

"Oh, grow up!" Cleo admonishes.

Her pink trimmed, white panties cut her conversation short as they cut into her because of the robots fierce pulling. They get them up above Titania's head and begin to wrap them around, blinding her.

The pair try to figure out how to walk in this position, while trying to get their arms free. Eventually, they get walking, but it's a ridiculously comical sight. Lyra, out of spite, tips them over, the women thrashing about on the floor.

"Centaur Wedgie!" Joker quickly yells, earning a glare from Carmilla, who wanted the honors.

"Okay, so who's left?" Betty asks, wanting a turn to pick someone. It seems like Monica, Joker, and Masque.

Kate cuts her off, though, picking Masque loudly. "Whitney deserves it!"

Betty pulls Kate back by her shorts and glares at her, to which the younger Hawkeye just shrugs and smiles apologetically.

The robots turn their attention to Masque. Granting Whitney some privacy, they remove her mask (as the feeling of it pressed into her face would be terrible), but turn her away from all the other women, so as to protect what she does not want to be seen.

They give her a panty mask (as seems to be Masque's "customary" wedgie), pulling her white and black striped panties out of her costume's pants. The difference between this and all the other face-covering wedgies she's gotten, is that the robots wrap the cotton fabric around her face a number of times until the features are obscured and tying it on the side of her face.

Masque tries to undo it, but the robots do what they did to Titania and Cleo, putting her arms in her tight legholes, keeping them bound to her side.

Betty quickly picks Monica before anyone can pick Joker, beating out Harley who finished her declaration after the Red She-Hulk. Though, even if she didn't, she wasn't about to argue with the big red woman.

"Thanks," Betty pauses, trying to remember the blonde's name, "Harley, was it?"

Harley quickly and automatically says, "Don't hurt me."

"I... okay." How do you respond to that? "So, Monica."

Monica is pushed forward by Joker, the clown woman putting her arms up in the air. The Scientist Supreme calls for help: "Carmilla! Do something!"

Carmilla rubs her neck, shrugging at her mom and smiling. "We'll do lunch after this?"

"You little ungrateful -- owowowowowowowowow!"

All of the robots grab her flowery granny panties out of her long skirt from all angles, lifting her high in the air. As their designer, it's quite fitting that when they start bouncing her around, it resembles the way a team congratulates their winning player.

The bounces themselves are brutal, as Monica's face can attest to, and she's almost rocketed _out_ of her panties each time, before she's dropped back down into them.

"Ooo, a Team Wedgie," Betty says, proud of herself for that one. 

Most of the other women wonder how she got a book deal.

"Last but not least," Harley says, pointing right at Joker. "That one!"

All the women (except for the wedgied) stop because they hear the Super Robot moving. "Great news, ladies," Barbara says, "I got it to work. Well, that's bad for _you,_ isn't it, Christina?"

A look of fear crosses Joker's eyes. "I've... I've seen better days, yes."

The Super Robot yanks her Beetlejuice panties out of her business skirt and starts stretching them in unimaginable ways, wrapping Christina up like a mummy and then watching her roll free, yoyoing her in the sky, swinging her like a purse while walking, even throwing her into the sky by her panties and catching her by them just the same and more.

The assembled heroes watch in pity and sympathy pains, though they can't say Joker didn't deserve this; most of this was her idea, anyway.

Growing bored of watching the villains' struggle after fifteen minutes, Zatanna asks, "To Jen's?" getting some agreement from the crowd.

"One day, we're going to someone else's place," Jen says, "But sure. I have a date later, though, so not for long."

"Ot S'neJ!" Zatanna casts, the heroes teleport away, leaving the villains trapped in their wedgies.

<<>>

After spending some time at Jen's place, the heroes split up and went their separate ways.

Kate wanted to go home, but didn't have a ride. Janice offered to take her and, despite Kate's intial mistrust of her, she did come through for them in a big way, so the archer accepted her invitation. Later, Kate's suspicion got the best of her, and made Janice crash into a tree. Rivalries were rekindled, mistakes were made, panties were pulled.

Before Jen left for her date with Wyatt (which went _fantastic_ , thanks for asking), she and Betty introduced Thundra to Diana, Donna, and Kory, all three warriors like the former leader of the USR herself. Betty remained with them, providing a foil to their upbringings; as a survivor mostly, rather than an outright fighter, she reminded them that strength doesn't always come from how you handle your enemies, but sometimes, in how you escape them.

Despite saying she never wanted to speak to any of them ever again, Emily offered them all free makeovers, and especially to Maxine, a fellow redhead. The excitable Harvard student accepted, though only if her friend, Jesse got it done with her. Not wanting (or being able) to say to no to Maxine, Jesse used her powers to rush she, Maxi, and Emily to the latter's studio.

Elektra and Natasha had a staredown, but Elektra simply walked away after a time. Daisy, with Bobbi at her side, asked what the history there was. Natasha debates for a moment, but begins to tell them a story; it's a lie, really, about what happened when she "infiltrated" Elektra's apartment.

Maria invited Angela to join the Heroes for Hire, having heard Misty is bringing the team back. Angela had declined in the past, but decided she could use the extra cash, and left with Tarantula to go introduce herself.

Kitty and Illyana managed to convince Emma not to erase the whole thing from everyone's mind, though the telepath did erase the feelings of discomfort left by those wedgies, if not the actual memory of getting them. That is, none of them remember how those super wedgies felt, and they're all incredibly thankful.

Since Miri's son is still at the babysitter, Selina, Harley, and Ivy all decided to take her for a night out in Gotham, showing her the Sirens do things. It's a fun experience for the single mother, though she forgot how poor her tolerance is, and ended up joining Ivy & Harley in their face-sucking.

Zatanna and Dinah visited Babs to thank her for her help. They watched the villains get wedgies for just a little while longer before setting it off and freeing them. Helena Bertinelli was present as well, not understanding how this whole thing came about. So, Zatanna and Dinah gave her a demonstration of _why_ a person would want revenge for a wedgie.

And finally, Carmilla and Laura went on a double date with Lyra and America, the latter pair offering to pay for everyone. Later, as Carmilla went overboard since the meal was free, she spent most of the car ride back with an atomic wedgie.

<<>>

Back in Circe's alternate dimension, the women have been freed from their wedgies, Zatanna's Moly spell having worn off and Circe thus being able to cast them all back to comfort.

"I think that's the last time," Monica says. "I don't want another one of those _ever_."

"Mm, I agree," Cairo says, though Titania hoists her up by her panties.

The redheaded bruiser laughs, bouncing Cairo and earning yelps from the Parisian woman, "But it was fun, though, right? I mean, not getting the wedgies, but working together, that kind of stuff."

"Put Cairo down, Mary," Cleo pleads. "The girl's been through enough."

Seeing the truth in that, Titania does as she's asked, apologizing somewhat. "My bad. Didn't mean to--"

Cairo cuts her off, stuffing her panties back into her skirt. "It's fine, I understand."

Circe is reclining in a magically created chair, on her stomach, however, as her butt is still a tad bit sore. "Don't tell me we've become friends over this."

"A shared ambition, however ridiculous, is enough to create lasting bonds. Basic social theory," Monica points out. "Besides, we've spent the better part of two months together. We were bound to become at the very least acquaintances."

"Well, we need a common interest outside of wedgies, because I'm done," Masque says, still holding her butt. "Now, what would that be?"

"We'll figure it out," Cleo answers. "We've got plenty of time. I quite like this quiet dimension."

One person is not liking all this talk of putting this stuff behind her: Joker. "I say we get them back twice as hard and none of that sissy --"

Circe shuts her up with a magic atomic wedgie. "Let it go and I'll let you go."

Joker gives a thumb up, since she can't actually speak, and Circe frees her. Voice still a bit squeaky, the woman asks, "Are any of you guys into comedy?"

And thus, the seven remain in Circe's alternate dimension for a while, laughing at Joker's surprisingly funny observational comedy bits, mostly taken from her time in the office.

And, as such, the weirdest event in both Marvel and DC has taken it's close, all the women accounted for, and no pride's too shattered that a little fun won't restore them.  


End file.
